Can you switch personality types? I don't think I was an introvert when I was growing up, but I most definitely am one now. I love reading Ana's blog, because as a mama of a passle of (mostly) little girls, she gets it. Mothering little girls as an introvert isn't for the faint of heart.
But here's the thing...it stretches me.
Slow clap here, I know. Because isn't that obvious? Of course motherhood stretches me. But I mean...mothering people with personality types different than my own is forcing me to be humble. I tend to be self-sufficient, always trying to do things by myself and to do everything for everyone else. Andrew is rapidly working away on his initial draft of his dissertation, and I'm trying to do all that I can to give him as much time as he needs. I'm trying to give him plenty of time in his office, with the door closed.
But not this morning. This morning, I'm the one sitting in our bedroom (my office) with the door closed, typing away. I've been in more than a little bit of a rut lately, and my energy (and patience) just feel totally sapped. I could push through that, and snap at little people every five seconds. Or, I could admit that I'm having a rough morning/day/week/month, and take advantage of the fact that my husband is working from home this morning and has a little extra time to spare. I can humble myself, and accept his help.
The funny thing is...this isn't just about self care. It's about getting ready for heaven.
If I want to be ready for heaven someday (God willing) then I need to learn to be humble. I need to learn that I can't do everything on my own. I need to learn to ask for help when I need it.
I think that a big part of purgatory will be polishing away all of our remaining imperfections and unhealthy attachments. If that's the case, my purgatory may very well consist of me sitting in a room, surrounding by wailing children of mine, and needing to ask for help. Over and over again, needing to ask for help.
Goodness, I'm bad at that. And even when I do accept help, I'm terrible at not being fraught with guilt over it.
God, grant me the grace.